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Reality Check

This is a reality check.  This is the most challenging time of our lives.  This post comes from the deepest recesses of fear and grief.  This post comes from the depth of my current darkness.

Grief is common to man, to all men.  Tragedy happens to everyone regardless of class or status.  Heartbreak is a taste that everyone has swallowed.  Some more than others.

When a child has a hidden enemy, a silent stalker, a sinister killer, it is always heart-stopping.  When that 8 year old child is your grandaughter, your daughter’s daughter, it goes beyond expression.

With grim prognosis it becomes apparent that this silent devastation has been at work aggressively.  Very aggressively.

One of the top surgeons for this type of problem has been frank, but challenged to save our child.  The treatment will be grim and long with an outlook we are told which is not positive.  We may have a few short years, we may not. 

Hope is resilient.  Hope enables our heads to be held up and to face another day together.  Hope and fear tread these new boards carefully together, hand in hand.

We have a precious weekend again this weekend.  We are going to make fun and do good things and be happy together.  We are loving, playing, enjoying and being the best we can.  we are facing the next month face on.  We have turned our faces together as one to look to the next weeks facing forward and standing together.  Movement is not possible but we can stand together. 

We do not know the outcome and maybe miracles can happen.  Maybe we can do this.  Maybe. 

Life is precious and fragile.  But we have no choice and no comfort.  So we will do this together and as one.  For my daughter I offer my very soul for her.  I can not take this place.  Raw does not even cover it close.

Cancer is a silent enemy.  The great leveller. 

So if you read this, offer your prayers and take life with both hands and enjoy those you love.  As for us, we are wearing smiles and strength and dancing slower, but dancing through this perfect weekend while our darling child has a time of her life with us.

This is raw.  But this is life at times.


About jillybeanyarns

Artist, maker, creative mess-maker. Expert in complications and chaos. #livingwithcancer

3 responses »

  1. Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear this. This is the sick fear that is the heart of every parent. I am truly truly sorry for you, your daughter and grand daughter. Please forgive my glib comment to your last post…it is horribly inappropriate in light of what I have just read in this post. Kindest thoughts to you and your family.

  2. All best wishes for the future. It is horrible when you are the recipient of the crab, but to see a child you love effected by the bl**dy beast it indescribably awful. Love and laughter do help. Will be thinking of you.

  3. KNOW that your grand daughter and whole family will be in my prayers…out when I am walking dogs in the forest every morning. Best time for prayer. What is her name if I may ask. Love from across the pond


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